Always try to stay in the middle.
via Tumblr http://ift.tt/2CGH8NT Song of the week @djsnake-Middle
I am a huge dolphins fan and remember this incident with Martin. Bullying can cause so much damage and I am living proof of that. This is really a shame and a very sad story.
Dude why are you acting so bipolar?
I feel like I’m acting borderline
This weather is bipolar.
I love that people that say these things don’t even understand what they mean. I remember when I worked someone where one the Transportation providers I used for Transportation started making comments about me being bipolar and thought I was difficult to work with. Little did they know I was battling mental health issues. Same with me. I was just very unhappy and angry most of the time.
I cant help I’m this way. I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2015 and borderline personality disorder in 2016. My symptoms fall more in line with the latter. I remember reading my psychiatric reports about the borderline and how I felt my life was over. I felt like it was the end for me. That I had to go on medication for the rest of my life and it will suck my will to live. To be creative.
It turned me into a monster. The amount of meds I took was off the chart and I didn’t know who I was half the time. When I got of meds my stability returned but many pieces of my life have needed to be put back together and slowly day by day I am a going through that process.
I don’t think both these mental illnesses are something to joke about. They are serious mental conditions that lead to self harm and suicide. Does that sound funny? I just posted a stats article about bipolar. Here’s something chilling:
“30% of individuals with bipolar disorder will attempt suicide during their lives, and 20% will succeed … . Suicide is more common in bipolar depression than in unipolar major depression, panic disorder, or even schizophrenia.
So next time you make a joke about being bipolar think about the serious battle just to wake up in the morning someone inflicted goes through. Just to go to work to drive a car to eat a meal. These things can ordinary to some but many of us with MI struggle.
Thanks for reading. Stick with the process
Do I have seasonal affective disorder? I think so. I hate winter. I can’t stand it. I live in Chicago so I should just be able to deal with that right?
I mean after all when I feel depressed people say I should just snap out of it right?
I would love to move to Florida but no one in my family wants to go so obviously that’s not happening. When things are going kind of bad the winter is just that little kick that makes things feel a little bit worse
But as Harvey Dent one sad that the night is darkest before the dawn and I believe it’s true because whenever I feel like I’ve taken my last breath whenever I feel like I’ve done all I can do and it’s time to give up I don’t. I wait for winter to pass and welcome spring into my life. The other issue is the fact I am so impatient and waiting for spring feels like waiting through five winters. Just as everything in my life I want to happen right away I’ve learned through DBT that nothing will happen right away. I need to stay in the moment stay with what is happening right now and not worry about what is going to happen in the future.
Yes Winter sucks especially in the Windy City. But as seasons move forward life moves forward. Am I ready to move forward with it when I stay in this dirty rotten hole?
I think I will chose the former and learn patience.
Do you feel this way about the weather? Would love to hear your thoughts.
So what do you when your feelings go out of control you’re not taking the right care of yourself and things go wrong because of the trigger?
Usually you use your skills and try to avoid the inevitable an episode.
To me the worst about of an episode isn’t what goes on during its what happens after.
The guilt the shame and the reaction of people who got caught in the crossfire is too much to bare. At least it is for me. I am afraid that everyone is scared of me or just annoyed with me thinking I’m being a narcissistic thug and not giving a shit about anyone’s else feelings but my own.
As a person with mental illness I crave one thing peace. It would be the thing that balances everything out. Stability would be the best friend I have been searching for for years. I keep trying to crack the code of a psychotic episode by going back to the before because the during and after I can’t change it. When you see red and start discosiating it becomes terrifying because you don’t know what you can or will do.
Last night I grounded and grounded and grounded again until I felt ok. https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2017/04/did-and-dbt-use-distress-tolerance-skills-for-dissociation is a site that was very helpful</a>. I guess it may be the best way to battle an episode. Sometimes I play a game on my phone to help bring me back to the here and now.
Nevertheless the after is the hardest thing. The depression I feel after is insurmountable. Good thing I working on DBT skills. Because this will be the topic tomorrow.
Don’t lose your way #trusttheprocess