UPDATE

 Polarlines is still up and about.  We have been running on Facebook.

However a special live you tube stream will be beginning in 2024.

More info coming soon

OK SO…

 I apologize that I still have not created a new episode and have not been updating this blog like I said I would be but I don’t know what’s going on with me. I had a huge depressive episode this past week, and I am letting little things get in the way of me accomplishing big things, so I need to stop that shit anyway I’m going to put something together. I am hoping to have it done today so it’s going to be a very real episode day here. I’ll give you more info later. 

SSD 2/1/23l MONSTA HOLDIN ON (SKRILLEX/NERO REMIX)

 

I am not going to lie.  I have been feeling like shit lately.  No motivation.  Depressed and defeated

But this song is like a drug.  Just the last 1 minute of the song is firing me up

SSD 1/22/23 DISTURBED VOICES

 

Great song. 

WHERE IS BNB EPISODE 4? WHAT THE HELL MICHAEL?

 Hi everyone.  Hope you are doing good.

Yes we are at a bit of a stalemate with episode 4.  I have not published it yet.  There are things I am waiting for and there are things I am contemplating.  So I wanted to tell you what's on my mind and wanted some feedback.  Once I write this I will make a final decision in the next 24 hours on what I am going to do with this.

The first is I am waiting for someone to give me authorization to use 11 minutes of audio from them because I believe it is very beneficial to those with BPD as this episode deals with favorite person.  So that is my professional reason I guess.

The second is I am very nervous to let this part of me out.  I had to dig in deep to my soul and find the worst parts to find the obsession, the controlling nature, the beast if you will.  I have had so much trouble with my favorite person and it has cost us both dearly.  It is very triggering and it was a very difficult episode to do.  I created some audio theatre that was deeply triggering probably not just for me, but many people who have experience with this from both sides.

I believe the episode will serve the purpose of teaching what a borderline episode and/or what a troubled abusive relationship can look like.  This is beneficial but I also feel like this will trigger victims of DV and if that happens, my mission may be lost.  I am not here to trigger people into their trauma or things like that.  However I want people to really understand what goes on in the mind of someone with BPD.  I am relating my experience as that person and I am not speaking for anyone else.  I do feel someone will hear it and think yeah I do that.  They can use it as a road map to recovery. As GI Joe said knowing is half the battle.

It is a very dark episode and I am thinking about how can I turn it into a positive.  If I cannot do that, episode 4 will be available only upon request.  I cannot publish something that I feel might do harm.  It has to have a happy ending.  Happy endings give hope and provide inspiration to those fighting.  I am 110 percent about that.

So that's where I am, I will make a statement tomorrow about this.  I am sleeping on it tonight.  The episode will post on Monday if I decide to.  If not, I will start working on episode 5 and make this an episode upon request.

Thanks for your understanding and if you have any questions please let me know.

Michael

SSD OF THE DAY 1/21/23: STEVE ANGELLO: NOTHING SCARES ME ANYMORE

 

This is such a beautiful song.  Listen to this when you are feeling like nothing is going to get better and let the beautiful music and wonderful lyrics lift you up.

SSD 1/19/22: OZZY OSBOURNE-DIARY OF A MADMAN

 First super song of the year.  My apologies I will try to do a better job of updating.

I heard this song again in the shower today and the lyrics really hit home today,

UPDATE ON HEALTH AND GETTING BACK ON TRACK

 Greetings

So I am finally through fighting with the kidney stones as my second surgery has come and gone and this time they were finally able to get rid of the stones so I am doing 100 percent better.  There was no episode this past week as I will open up to tell you my feelings as of late.

The kidney stones had a real negative effect on my mental health.  I was working out, getting my weight down from 240 to 210 in one year and now I have put about 5 pounds back as well as 3 percent body fat.  My relationships in life from family to employees have been shit.  I have been facing many challenges since November and I started this podcast in the middle of it.  I would push the limits on my health on a daily basis and there would be days I would have to rest because if I didn't, I could have seriously fucked myself up badly.  

The history of my health situation was mid October I had huge abdominal and back pains.  I went to the ER and discovered I had two kidney stones. One 7mm and one 8mm which are pretty big.  I was set up for surgery in December to have the stones removed, but my pain went away, so I thought maybe I passed them.  I would continue working out, doing yoga, and normall activities until I got a CT scan that confirmed the stones were still there.  Fuck!

So surgery took place 12/3, and the doctor couldn't remove them because my ureter tube was too thin for his instruments.  This meant he would put a stent into the ureter line and it would stretch it out.  I had this for a month and it was one of the worst months of my life.  I would urinate blood and blood clots.  Sometimes it would be very painful.  The discomfort I felt was unreal,  This also took me away from the gym for a while, which is a huge part of my mental health.  On 1/3, the doctor removed the stones and he placed a new stent in, which is needed after this kind of surgery to the ureter doesn't close up.  I pulled it out myself this past Monday.

This gave me a huge appreciation for health and I was overjoyed as I have been feeling awesome.  However mentally things still haven't completely picked up.  I wasn't showering, cleaning the apartment, taking care of myself.  I would watch shows on Hulu and Netflix and stay up all night doing so robbing myself of precious sleep.  I would then be a dick to everyone as well  It took an episode yesterday to snap myself out of this bullshit.  I cleaned my apartment, went to the gym (even though I didn't feel like it) and produced half of episode 4 and wrote this post.

I only did half for two reasons.  One I need someone to give me an OK to continue and also it is a very very heavy episode.  I will hopefully have it ready to go in a few days.

Keep your heads up and know you can do anything.  Stay tough, stay fiercel put your danicng shoes on when the storm comes and dance through it. Or maybe just sit.  The storm disappears eventually.

Trust the process and lots of love to you all

Michael'

SSD 12/27/22: POISON CRY TOUGH

You gotta cry tought to make your dreams happen and come true.  Gotta be tough as well.  
 

UPDATES

 Hello due to some medical issues, we have not been able to produce episode 2 of Breathe & Bounce.  The new episode should be up soon.  I lost my voice so I have not been able to talk but I am going to give it a shot later.  Also I have been in some pain due to a kidney stone operation last week that went wrong.  I have been forced to wait almost a month for a new procedure because there is a stent inside of my ureter tube that connectes my kidney to bladder and the purpose is to dilate the tube so the doctor can get his tools inside to remove the stones.  So I have been in a lot of pain and it has gotten worse lately.  

My voice is starting to come back so I am going to try to work on it tonight.  I will be updating the site with songs and other things as well as our other socials in the next day or two/

Thank you for your understanding

Michael

SSD 12-24-20 : DAVID GUETTA, CHRIS LAKE, LMFAO, FERGIE GETTING OVER YOU

 I am trying to get over this cold I have had the last few days,  Took my voice away and my will.  But I am back here posting.

Sickness and injuries set us back as I have been dealing with both this month.  From my failed kidney stone surgery to completely losing my voice as temperatures here in Chicagoland have fallen well below zero.  Nevertheless I push on and keep trying,

Hoping to get my voice back for Christmas as I prepare to finish episode 2 of B&B.  Stay tuned.  Keep going.  Much love to you

M

SSD 12-20-22: SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA IT GETS BETTER

Don't worry people.  It does get better.

Has anyone listened to Episode I yet?

 

SSD 12-19-22 LINKIN PARK Somewhere I Belong

SSD means SUPER SONG OF THE DAY 

We are going to start a new daily thing.  A song to express how I am feeling today.

I am back in a studio producing content.  Something I haven't done in many years.  

EPISODE I: THE POISON THAT IS ANGER

 Check out the first episode of BREATHE & BOUNCE.  The new podcast hosted by Michael @ POLARLINES.  I am so excited and I hope you enjoy it!!!!!

BREATHE & BOUNCE IS HERE!!!!

 As of tonight, my new podcast BREATHE & BOUNCE has dropped and it is something else.

Radio has always been my passion.  From talking on a mic, to finding elements that take the listener on a journey; to invoke thought and feeling and just plain old entertain, this has been my passion.  I am so happy and proud ( and a little nervous because I am getting vulnerable here) of what I have produced for the first episode.

The main focus is on anger and bad thoughts and I hope I can guide you through what I do and it helps you.  

I am so excited.  I will post the link up when it's done uploading.

Thank you so much

Michael

ITS BEEN A MINUTE

 Hello and welcome back to Polarlines.

I am sorry I was gone for so long and I didn't update this site along with the socials but I promise you that is about to change as I have done something HUGE!!!!!!!!!

I will give you more details as we go on.  I will be updating this site DAILY moving forward,

I have learned SO MUCH and gained so much knowledge.  I am ready to unleash all these thoughts to the world.  I hope you are ready.

We can do this together.

TTP

M

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT

 https://youtu.be/5Vuna05oMns

ACCESSING PAST VIDEOS

 We now have a way for you to view past videos on twitter.  All you have to do is follow or click on this link here and we have them all in order for you there.  So if you see one you like you can still RT or whatever.  They are organized by date.

Videos are recording Monday through Friday.  We are going to work on the same time everyday this week, so we can announce a time where you can expect a live video from Michael

Thank you for your support

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

 I know. You’re hurting. 

The pressure of life is getting to you. 

The easiest way to go is leave. Say goodbye to family friends and take a plunge into the afterlife. Well I’m here to say to you there is an alternative. 

First of all your pain is completely real. Many of us have days like this when we want to end it. The pain is too great. Not sure if there’s an end in sight. When does the rainbow come?

It does. It comes and it goes. Because nothing in life is permanent. 

My yoga teacher taught me this simple preference one saying during practice. I was in frog pose and it HURT LIKE HELL. she wanted us to hold it for a minute or so because she’s funny like that. But what she is teaching is not just for yoga itself. It’s for fitness it’s for building muscle but most of all...

It’s for life. 

We find ourselves in uncomfortable positions in life. So many times more than we would like. Especially being someone who is borderline. Like when someone doesn’t answer a text right away. Someone doesn’t return our call the same day. It triggers us into panic mode.  Because you have the belief that they are never coming back. And then you start to question yourself and shame. And all those icky feelings come to play. 

But it’s not permanent. It will go away. You have to learn how to sit with it. Like the frog pose it’s not going to last forever and even though you are uncomfortable as fuck you can get comfortable in just a moment. 

And once you sit with it and get past it there is a feeling in the air. It’s call pride. It’s called toughness. It’s called resilience. And it’s a notch on your belt. 

It’s one more reason why you don’t punch out on life’s clock yet. It’s one more reason why you continue to breathe. You focus on that. Focus on that breath. That breath is your friend. It’s reminds you you’re here and alive. It reminds you that your spirit is here. 

Notice I didn’t bring up family and friends. Because sometimes family and friends aren’t enough because the person you spend the most time in life with is you. Your brain is with you 24/7. And a way must be found to love yourself so you don’t ever want to hurt yourself. And it’s a challenge. A challenge I am still trying to master but the wonderful thing about life is you have many chances. 

Remember what I say waking up in the morning is victory. Celebrate victory learn from defeat and breathe on. Because nothing is permanent. Especially life itself. Don’t waste it. Take the moments that make you smile and hold them dear. 

I’ll be rooting for you always. Trust the process 

Love Michael 

BACK ON INSTAGRAM

 Polar lines has returned it to a Instagram you can get daily inspirational messages and things you can use to help make your life a little bit easier. Follow us today https://www.instagram.com/polarlinesUSA/